They're folder icons, dude, they aren't supposed to sing and dance. They exist because people like superficial bling. Superficial bling is indeed what the modern age is composed of in its DNA. Once upon a time, we started out as stardust, and had more noble ambitions and accomplished stations in life. But now we have been reduced to nothingness. Tabula rasa. The void. In the (somewhat illogical) words of Carl Sagan, "less than a pixel".
I blame the iPhone.
So, considering how many pixels the typical layered icon contains, you're already ahead of the game, yet you don't appear to be rejoicing in your privilege. And shouldn't that be "fjords" you're pining for, and not fiords? The letter 'j' feels unloved when you confuse it for its antecedents. Sure, it too started out as nothing but a typographical flourish on an 'i' but it's worked hard to get where it is, and deserves at least a little recognition for its somewhat middling (dare I say "normal"?) position in the alphabet.
I mean, when was the last time anyone celebrated you in a video
And did you know that the original inspiration for the "J"elly Bean was actually Turkish Delight? Where would the poor Jelly Bean be if it weren't for the Ottoman Empire and the letter J?
Even better, did you know that the word for Turkish Delight in Romanian is "rahat" which means "shit"? And why does it mean "shit"? Because when Romania was gaining independence from the Ottoman Empire, all things of Arabian origin were deprecated socially, not least the humble sweet, and thus its home in the modern language was secured. Out of sheer spite.
So there. Like I said, once upon a time we started out as startdust, but now... nothing's sacred.
Be happy with your coloured icons - it could be a lot worse. Easter will never be the same again.