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Since, we are being biblical here, I could not resist posting this joke found on the Web. No offense meant!

=: Dear Dr. Laura :=

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. For example, when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Robert2:

That's terrific. Thanks posting. I'm passing it around to loved ones. I really hope it was actually sent to Dr. Laura and that she read it.

Thanks again,
Brig

:yawn:
That "Letter" has been bouncing around the internet for almost a decade in various forms.

ref: http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

Hi fgagnon,
You do sound so blasé. Sorry if this joke turned out to be so excruciatingly boring to you. Old or new, it was only meant to entertain. Why be such a party-pooper?
Come on-cheer up! It isn't that bad!

Robert

Re: fgagnon's yawn:

What can I say? It was new to me and I enjoyed it.

The "letter's" provenance is almost irrelevant. It's the argument that matters. I find it odd that Snopes would weigh in on it. They present an interesting history of the "letter," but Snopes is all about debunking false claims and urban myths; aside from specific false claims of authorship (trivial matters), there's nothing to debunk in the "letter"--unless you want to defend a self-serving and bigoted reading of the Bible. That's a tall order and a fool's errand. That's why the "letter" is good satire.

Invoking Snopes implies there's something illegitimate about the letter itself. I say there isn't.

ahh, but although snopes is best-known for debunking so-called urban legends, one of the reasons I like to check with them is that they are also a reliable resource for reporting the elements of truth in widespread stories such as this. :)

btw, the article I cited agrees with what you say, as do I: [paraphrasing] regardless of the provenance, there is a wonderful satirical truth in the content as it is.

re: so blasé - you are right about that. There was a time I was much entertained by such stuff; but I've seen the better material go around so many times, it is no longer novel to me and has lost any edge that it had. Just call me a jaded old fuddy-duddy.

you've seen it all before old man!

fear not, the gods have prepared a special extra hot pot in hell for infidels like r2

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OT stuff from nikos blog of 4-Jan-2008